Harriet's story marks Lesbian Visibility Day

Lesbian Visibility Day celebrates lesbian role models and lesbian culture and diversity, as well as raises awareness of the issues that lesbians face in their lives. 

Lesbians can identify in many different ways. They can be cisgender women, trans women, non-binary, gender non-conforming, intersex and many more.

HSS’ Service Desk Manager Harriet Fitzgerald came out as a lesbian to her parents when she was 23.

“It was pretty straight forward.  Mum said, ‘If you cut your hair mannishly short and start wearing leather outfits and become one of the Dykes on Bikes, then I don’t think I will be able to handle that.’

My stepdad just asked what Lauren did for an occupation. That was about it really.”

Fast forward to 2022 and Harriet and her wife Lauren have been together ten years in December and were married three years ago.

They also have a son, Rupert, who was born through IVF in October last year giving their dog – Zelda (featured in Harriet’s photo) – a reprieve from ridiculous dress-ups.

The IVF process wasn’t straight forward however, and Harriet and Lauren had many hoops to jump through.

“There are only two clinics who cater for same sex couples, and there’s a severe shortage of sperm.  We had a known sperm donor who had offered to be a part of the IVF process, however due to personal circumstances he backed out, which was difficult.  We were then placed at the top of the ‘unknown donor’ list, and we went from no donor to four potential profiles. 

“We ended up choosing the sperm from overseas, and the result is our beautiful son.”

Harriet says that the couple has been fortunate that their families have been so supportive. 

“We are pretty privileged, which we’re fully aware of.  There hasn’t been any discrimination.  I just assume that people won’t have an issue,” she said.

Harriet says her strong sense of self comes from her mum, her stepdad and her extended family.

“I have always felt grounded with a strong sense of where I have come from and where I belong and have always felt accepted in the family.

“I just say it like I see it and have always been a curious person. As a result, I endeavour to make myself open to answer questions because I see it as an important way of fostering understanding. A lot of people don’t feel comfortable asking questions which results in awkwardness.

“I believe it’s important to be transparent – you want to know about our IVF journey, or how our families took our coming out? Or do we really wear matching flanno shirts?  Just ask.” (the answer to the last question is yes but Harriet says Lauren does it reluctantly.)

Harriet said that HSS does a lot of things ‘really well’ like their commitment to diversity and the fact that they communicate, champion and instil their values in their staff.

“I have found that HSS has an actual commitment to diversity and championing their staff rather than the virtue signalling that you see in other companies or organisations.

“I have found in my specific area that this is lead from the top down, or as we like to look at it, the bottom up (the director being the foundation). In our team individuality is embraced but not spotlighted, which has meant that nobody is treated differently, but everyone is accepted as different.’